january 01 2010
It's the first day of another year today.
Actually, it's New Year's day in my 30th year...and that, dear readers, holds all sorts of weight.
I'm told that we, as humans, have a cycle in which every 30 years from the day we are born, we get Saturn back. The planet returns to the very point it was at when you were freed from the womb, and again every thirty years or so thereafter. It's called the Saturn Return, and if you're interested in that sort of thing, you should Google it as I did after Momma Speer told me about it the other day. Anyway, I knew there was a reason I was so worked up over turning 30 this year. It's a new era…and like Stella to her groove, I got my Saturn back. To think i didn't even know it was gone.
Slightly over a week ago my boyfriend and I broke up. As the end to most relationships are, it's been a mosaic of emotions. The significance in terms of my first blog entry is that it wasn't planned. Rather, it escalated to a Big Split. Surprise, the story ends before you were finished reading.
Just a cool few days past my probationary period, I'm returning to my new job after the holiday - a job that seems to fit my individual hand for just such a thing like a glove. A tight, smooth, leather, motorcycle glove, with silver snaps. A few months preceding, my roomie moved out, leaving me with my second opportunity to live alone - something I grew quite fond of at the first.
All in all, it's pretty obvious that this is a time of beginnings for me..whether I like it or not.
I've chosen to like it.
Oddly enough, i've also chosen to believe in the slightly ridiculous flick from '89 - Field of Dreams...except instead of a dead baseball player, I'm channeling Life: If you build it, it will come.
So on this very first day in the first Saturnic years than I can, myself, remember, I've decided to make this a year of trying. I'm trying to do more things i love, like writing (enter this blog). i'm trying to look through those swanky, rose-coloured glasses instead of shades. I'm trying to let go of the restrictions i set on myself - restrictions and expectations which (i've found) can sometimes be one and the same. Lastly, i'm trying to take better care and more concern for mine truly.
why does any of this matter to you?
it doesn't at all, really. this one's for the girl and that girl is me. but, should you ever choose to read any of it (provided i try hard enough to pump out some substantial entries), i do hope it helps makes you think about things. All sorts of things, in fact, because I really don't think people do that enough.
Actually, it's New Year's day in my 30th year...and that, dear readers, holds all sorts of weight.
I'm told that we, as humans, have a cycle in which every 30 years from the day we are born, we get Saturn back. The planet returns to the very point it was at when you were freed from the womb, and again every thirty years or so thereafter. It's called the Saturn Return, and if you're interested in that sort of thing, you should Google it as I did after Momma Speer told me about it the other day. Anyway, I knew there was a reason I was so worked up over turning 30 this year. It's a new era…and like Stella to her groove, I got my Saturn back. To think i didn't even know it was gone.
Slightly over a week ago my boyfriend and I broke up. As the end to most relationships are, it's been a mosaic of emotions. The significance in terms of my first blog entry is that it wasn't planned. Rather, it escalated to a Big Split. Surprise, the story ends before you were finished reading.
Just a cool few days past my probationary period, I'm returning to my new job after the holiday - a job that seems to fit my individual hand for just such a thing like a glove. A tight, smooth, leather, motorcycle glove, with silver snaps. A few months preceding, my roomie moved out, leaving me with my second opportunity to live alone - something I grew quite fond of at the first.
All in all, it's pretty obvious that this is a time of beginnings for me..whether I like it or not.
I've chosen to like it.
Oddly enough, i've also chosen to believe in the slightly ridiculous flick from '89 - Field of Dreams...except instead of a dead baseball player, I'm channeling Life: If you build it, it will come.
So on this very first day in the first Saturnic years than I can, myself, remember, I've decided to make this a year of trying. I'm trying to do more things i love, like writing (enter this blog). i'm trying to look through those swanky, rose-coloured glasses instead of shades. I'm trying to let go of the restrictions i set on myself - restrictions and expectations which (i've found) can sometimes be one and the same. Lastly, i'm trying to take better care and more concern for mine truly.
why does any of this matter to you?
it doesn't at all, really. this one's for the girl and that girl is me. but, should you ever choose to read any of it (provided i try hard enough to pump out some substantial entries), i do hope it helps makes you think about things. All sorts of things, in fact, because I really don't think people do that enough.
posted by Kat at
11:11 PM
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